


My Story

by TheLorax



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-01-21 18:31:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLorax/pseuds/TheLorax
Summary: My name is Rin Higurashi, and I’ve done something terrible.Wait- let me start from the beginning.I’m 27, I have a job I love and I’ve just gotten engaged to the man I’ve loved for almost all my life. I was happy… things were good- better than good.And then I destroyed it all. I don’t know how, or why, I mean- as terribly cliched as it may sound- I’m not a bad person. I’ve always been good, almost to a fault; good, quiet, innocent, shy Rin.But then, he came along- Sesshomaru Taisho- and suddenly when he’s around- when I’m with him, I’m something more than just that... does that sound strange? I guess, I don’t know how to describe it in so few words…Maybe if I tell you my story, you’ll understand what I mean…





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a shameless bit of smut masquerading as an actual story with a plot. This is a rare attempt at first person narrative, so I figured why not go with something incredibly cliched and a bit more mature. This is gonna be a short one though, only 3 parts, so enjoy it while it lasts.

**My Story**

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

I’ve known Kohaku for almost as long as I could remember. His older sister and mine were best friends, so it was only natural that he and I became friends as well.

I don’t remember when my crush on him started- although my sister does enjoy telling me I went doe-eyed the moment we met- but I was a shy child, and Kohaku never showed any interest beyond friendship, so, for years, I was content to adore him from afar.

It wasn’t until college, with the help of an incredibly loose-lipped friend, that my years spent spying him from the corners of my eyes were finally rewarded.

Our relationship progressed from that point with a comfortable ease that can only come from years of already knowing all there is to know about each other. It was shortly after my 27th birthday that he proposed; and I dutifully accepted, promising myself to the boy I had loved from the age of 7.

A month after his proposal, I was promoted at the architectural firm where I was employed.

I was content with my life then, and even when the news came down that Toga Taisho would be stepping down as Senior Partner and passing the position on to his eldest son, I greeted it with little more than passing interest, because in that moment I could not fathom how such a small change would impact my contentedness so completely.

 

* * *

  
Sesshomaru Taisho was a handsome man. I can’t deny that when he first walked into the office I was among the many wide-eyed women left gazing after him. He was lithe and tall, easily a foot more than my meager 5’3” and his perfectly pointed features seemed something one of the great ancient sculptors would spend years modeling from clay. But most impressive, and probably most whispered about among the fairer sex, had to be the unusual color of his eyes and hair.

Like his father, his eyes were a hazel that was so deep it could almost be called amber, his hair- a pigmentless white that was almost silver- normally hung in a lengthy braid that nearly reached his mid-thigh.

Because of my new position, I worked closely with the new Mr. Taisho, and it was quickly apparent that looks aside, the differences ran deep between father and son.

Where his father had been a jovial and welcoming man- always found fraternizing with those under his employ and had so great a penchant for remembering the names and situations of family members that it was not uncommon to receive Get Well gifts for sick relatives- Sesshomaru was nearly the complete opposite. Beyond the barest nod of good morning, his conversations began and ended with work.

He was cold and overbearing- he spared no feelings when expressing his displeasure and he ran the firm with an almost militant precision. Within his first month he let go of twelve people, sending a thrill of uncertainty racing through the staff. Everyone feared him, and within two months, he became more demon than man in the circles of office gossip.

I usually stayed away from such idle chatter, but the rumors of the new boss pulled at me for some unknowable reason. Though he made himself almost omnipresent in the office, having the final say on nearly every project, there were few who actually interacted with him daily. As the Head of the Department for some of our largest contracts, I soon found myself one of those few, and while I found him to be curt and succinct, he was far from the evil creature who haunted water cooler conversations. If anything, I found him quite interesting.

It wasn’t until his fifth month that I noticed the quiet camaraderie that had slipped over us. We worked together regularly, our meetings over plans often stretching into the lunch hours or well past sunset, so out of necessity we often ate together in his office.

There is a strange sort of intimacy that is born from something as menial as eating together. Our guards came down, and in those moments we were beyond an employer/employee relationship.

For those brief minutes he was no longer Sesshomaru Taisho, Senior Partner of The Western Wind, head of the largest architectural firm on the continent; he was just Sesshomaru, a man with a dry wit who loved debating art, had an obsession with hamburgers, and often got ketchup on the bottom corner of his lips no matter how hard he tried not to. And I was no longer Rin Higurashi, Department Head and bride to be in seven months time. I was just Rin.

We became comfortable, we joked and teased each other. We sat and talked as just Sesshomaru and just Rin, and it was…enjoyable.

Looking back now, I should have seen what a dangerous thing that was.

 

* * *

  
“You seem troubled.” Sesshomaru’s deep voice cut through the haze that had settled over my mind. My gaze met his over the desk strewn with our take out boxed dinners.

“Do I?” I feigned a smile. “I don’t believe I am.”

According to magazine articles and company gossip, Sesshomaru Taisho was a stoic and unreadable man. However, after seven months, I found that to be farthest from the truth. In that time I had learned and categorized every one of his little tells. I knew every emotion driven move that he thought he concealed. I knew that a minute flaring of his nostrils meant he was angry. I knew by the way he held his pen how his day had been. I knew that when he touched his hair he was curious. And right now, I knew, by the slight twitch of his eyebrow, that he was not going to let my dismissal stand.

“I may have misspoken,” he set down his chop sticks, and took his time shutting his empty carry out container before leveling me with a hard stare. “What I meant to say was, tell me why you are troubled.” If it wasn’t for the small tick at the corner of his mouth I may have been fooled into thinking him serious.

I did my best to school my features into a mirroring stoicism, as was customary when we played these games. “I don’t believe my non-workplace troubles should be of any concern to you, Mr. Taisho.”

I was surprised to see my response crack his mask and earn a raised eyebrow. “When they distract you from important conversation with your boss, I believe they are.”

“Important conversation, eh?” I asked. He settled back in his high backed chair, though his face remained impassive, I could see the spark of humor forming in his golden gaze. “I didn’t realize your grousing over my choice of take out fell under the umbrella of “important conversation.””

“It is of the utmost importance Ms. Higurashi,” he paused and for a fraction of a second the joviality slipped from his amber gaze and was replaced by a cloud of something dark and hungry; I blinked and it was gone, but the heat it caused still warmed my skin. “So that when I ask you to choose the place I take you to dinner, your decision can be influenced by what I enjoy.”

His bluntness struck me silent. I’m afraid to know what my face must have looked like in that moment. If I didn’t appear as a slack-jawed fool that would’ve been by the mercy of the gods alone.

I blinked and attempted a response, but it quickly became apparent that my brain had not caught up to my mouth just yet “I…Mr. Taisho -“ I stumbled over a few more half formed words before he took pity on me.

“It’s late,” he said curtly, glancing at his watch for emphasis before standing and removing the suit jacket from the back of his chair. The heavy air that had settled around the room dissipated with his quick movements, the heat that pooled in my belly however, didn’t seem as eager to follow.

I nodded dumbly and stood as well, sweeping our empty food cartons into the garbage and hastily organizing the papers on his desk. I could feel his gaze on me the entire time, but I was too much of a coward to meet it.

When I finished, I retrieved my jacket from my chair and made my way towards the door, intent on making a quick exit before I embarrassed myself further. As I turned to say good night however, I realized that was a fool’s errand.

One would think a man of over six feet would not be able to move silently across a wood floor, but as with many things concerning Sesshomaru Taisho, what you assumed never matched the reality. He had somehow moved to stand so closely behind me that when I turned my nose brushed the expensive fabric of his lapel. Of course, as I’m sure anyone else caught in this position would do, I jumped back and released a strange and wholly embarrassing mousey squeak.

He took a step forward, closing what little distance I had put between us and making me acutely aware that I was trapped between him and the door. “I will be taking you home.”

I balked, “Mr. Taisho, you really do not need to, I’m perfectly capable of getting myself home.”

His palms came to rest on either side of me on the door, securely caging me in. I couldn’t help the way I deeply breathed in his scent – uniquely masculine and all consuming- as his body came even nearer. He craned his neck to meet my eyes, and that familiar heat returned with a vengeance, burning me from the inside and making me grip the knob of the door to stop myself from leaning my body into his.

“I’m well aware of what you are capable of, Ms. Higurashi,” the low, deliberate baritone of his voice pushed me further adrift in a sea of lascivious thoughts. I was sure by now he could hear the rapid pounding of my heart against my rib cage. “But it is late and I cannot in good conscience allow you to make your way unaccompanied. What kind of gentleman would that make me?” The absolutely devilish gleam in his eyes made it abundantly clear exactly what kind of gentleman he really was.

“However,” he cleared his throat and took a step back, dropping his arms to his sides. “If you rip off the door knob we may have some trouble getting on our way, ne?”

I blinked owlishly before glancing at the white knuckled grip I had on the knob, then back to him, finding a look of complete smugness plastered across his face. His lip twitched in an almost smile, and I knew I must have been blushing like a school girl.

He did love getting this reaction from me.

I huffed loudly and threw a glare his way before wrenching the door open and storming across the deserted floor to the elevator. “You are an absolutely incorrigible ass sometimes!”

His dark chuckle followed behind me.

* * *

  
The ride home was spent in our usual companionable silence. I snuck glances at the man next to me, but his gaze remained locked on the road ahead, probably still basking in his win at the office.

I had realized months ago -when our lunches and dinners had become daily affairs- that Sesshomaru garnered endless amusement from teasing me. And, I have to admit, I enjoyed adding tallies to the unspoken scorecard we kept between ourselves.

What started as clever quips and flirtatious barbs slowly, comfortably, morphed into something more. Without our notice, it became ok for me to adjust his tie and for him to fasten a stray strand of my hair. It became natural for his hand to rest on the small of my back when we walked and it was commonplace for my head to find his shoulder when the hour got late and I got groggy.

Soon, our teasing became more physical as well. He would hover too closely when we reviewed documents and speak his requests into my ear, relishing in the heated blush that would spread across my skin. And I would, in my own clumsy way, attempt to fluster him in turn.

These interactions were far beyond the playful jests we had started with, I knew that. I knew the reasons for the inappropriateness of our relationship stretched further than breach of workplace rules of conduct. But, an attraction had built and neither of us had made any move to deter it.

In fact, I grew to thrive on the moments when my shy double entendres would cause a haze of dark hunger to cloud his gaze. I loved the feelings he awoke in me with his less than subtle insinuations, and I was less ashamed than I should have been to admit to myself that I craved the tightness he created in my belly when he ghosted a touch across my skin.

But his dinner invitation was a new addition to our flirtations, and the feelings it roused in me left me uneasy. I knew our interactions were wrong, but they were kept at my job, so far from my personal life that I could rationalize it away -who didn’t occasionally flirt with a coworker- but this invitation- dinner, alone, with him. That would be crossing a line. That would be inviting emotional attachment. That would be a allowing complication.

But wasn’t the fact that I wanted to say yes already a complication?

The car turned down the block of my apartment building with practiced ease, and before I knew it we were parked in front of my door.

“I will be out of town for a conference next week,” he began as soon as the car stopped, leaving no room for awkwardness to set in. “I will pick you up for dinner next Saturday at 7.”

I breathed out a sigh and rolled my eyes, this was so typical of him. “I never said yes.”

“I don’t recall asking.” He answered in turn, “I said I would take you out, and I am a man of my word. Wear something formal.”

I bit my lip. “Mr. Taisho,” I began softly, knowing full well I was about to say something taboo between us, “you know I am engaged…I- I can’t-“

The warmth of his hand on mine caused my words to die in my throat and when my eyes met his there was an unfamiliar need in his amber gaze. “All I wish for is dinner. I will take nothing more than you are willing to give, but I would very much like it if you gave me just one night of your company,” he hesitated, then, “please, Rin.”

Perhaps it was the unfamiliarity of those words on his tongue that had me nodding, or maybe I just couldn’t deny my own selfish desires any longer. Whatever the reason, I agreed, and when I slipped into bed later that night, I couldn’t tamp down the bubble of nervous anticipation that welled within me.


	2. Part Two

**My Story**

**.**

**.**

**.**

The week sped by in a blur of confusion. It didn’t take long for the reality of what I had agreed to to settle in. I panicked, I rationalized, I panicked some more, I drank - _a lot_ \- of wine. I manically cleaned my apartment and went jogging for the first time in years, all the while steadfastly avoiding lengthy conversations with Kohaku.

At work, I was distracted to the point of uselessness. My stomach was in a constant state of worried knots and excited butterflies. I thought of cancelling almost as many times as I thought of what to wear. By Saturday, the constant mental and emotional flip flopping had left me thoroughly exhausted.

At 7:00 on the dot, just as I had finished adjusting the simple updo I had pulled my hair into, I received a text from Sesshomaru to meet him downstairs. At the sight of his name, the exhaustion that had riddled my body immediately fled and I was filled with a jittery excitement that caused me to drop my purse twice.

I took a steadying breath. This would be fine, I assured myself, a simple dinner between…friends? We had eaten together countless times, just because this time would be in a restaurant made it no different, right? Right.

But when I opened the door downstairs and found him leaning against the side of his car in grey slacks and a teal button-down shirt with his long silver hair unbound, my reassuring thoughts fled, taking the breath in my lungs with them.

I must have walked to him on auto pilot because before I knew it I was standing inches away from him as his eyes openly roamed my frame. My dress was simple, a floor length black spaghetti strapped number with a delicately scooped neckline. I was a novice when it came to make up, so I settled on the bare minimum, a grey eyeshadow and a dark lip was as far as I was willing to experiment.

The result of my efforts must have been pleasing to him if the dark look in his eyes was anything to go by. Another beat passed in silence before he finally spoke. “You look... acceptable.”

I would be lying if I said I hadn’t contemplated hitting him with my purse then, but the slight tilt of a smirk at his lips held me back. “Well, I guess you’re alright too.” I huffed, feigning a coarse perusal of his outfit. His lips tilted further, and just like that, the nervousness that had plagued me all week disappeared.

He opened the passenger door and held out a hand for me to take. I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped me when, instead of leading me to the car, he held my hand to his lips and placed a chaste kiss there. My face heated immediately, and judging by the teasing gleam in his eyes I was sure he counted this as a win in his column. Unfortunately for him I came prepared.

I pulled my hand back with a half hearted glare and walked past him into the car, revealing the deep back of my dress that dipped into a drape at the small of my back.

If the muttered curses I heard as I closed the car door was any indication, this round easily went to me.

* * *

 

  
At the restaurant – a chic French place I had mentioned my interest in months ago- we settled into easy conversation. The pressure I was sure I would have felt to impress him was nowhere to be found as he showed me that this dinner was no different than the ones we usually shared at the office.

By dessert, I was feeling light and warm and completely at ease -perhaps accredited to the two glasses of wine I had imbibed- unfortunately the next statement out of Sesshomaru’s mouth had me sitting ramrod straight and coughing on the sip of wine I had just taken.  
  
“Tell me about your fiancé.”

Under any other circumstance, I’m sure I would’ve been proud of myself for garnering the amused look that ghosted his features, but right now, I was too busy struggling to formulate a response. “What?”

He ignored my obvious discomfort and continued. “How long have you known each other?”

I eyed him curiously for a moment, trying to figure out what he was getting at. He didn’t seem malicious in his line of questioning, honestly, the impassive mask he wore made him seem almost disinterested in the questions he himself was asking. I furrowed my brow and decided to answer honestly, after all, we had known each other long enough, and this was a major part of my life, not some taboo to be secreted away.

“Almost my whole life- Kohaku and I grew up together.” My answer gained a soft hum from him. He picked up his glass and took a slow sip of his scotch (a favorite of his, I had learned) and seemed to roll the answer around in his mind as he formulated his next question.

“And you love him?”

The furrow of my brow deepened. “Well, of course I do.”

He wasted no time with his next question. “And you are happy?”

I paused for a fraction of a second, but the flash of smug victory that flitted through his gaze let me know that it was a fraction too long. “Yes.” I stated stubbornly, ignoring the change in the air around us. “Why do you ask?”

His broad shoulders raised in a shrug. “Curiosity.”

My eyes narrowed, but his amber gaze offered no further hints so I resigned myself with having to ask. “And what are you curious about?”

“A number of things.” He replied lowly, locking his eyes with mine in a way that made me feel distinctly like a butterfly who had yet to realize how close she had strayed to a spider’s web.

“Such as?”

He took his time taking another ruminative sip before answering. “Such as why a happy woman, in love with her fiancé, spends her nights alone? Why have I never seen this happy woman wearing her engagement ring? And why this woman is also out having dinner with another man?”

I knew that I should have felt some sort of anger at his accusatory line of questioning, any normal woman would have, but as I automatically rattled off my answer, all I could feel was a need to move past this topic. “Kohaku and I have agreed on separate apartments until we’re married, he is old fashioned when it comes to things like that, and I understand his desire. I don’t wear my ring because I don’t want to lose it. And as for tonight, you and I often have dinner together, so I thought it would be fine to have one at an actual table,” I smiled lightly, “you know, a nice meal between friends.”

“Oh?” Of all the responses I could have thought to have gotten from the man, the low chuckle I received was not one of them. “I did not ask you here for friendship, Rin.” I must have looked discomforted by his response, because his next words, though laced with a ghost of a smirk, were subdued. “You can calm down, little one. I told you before, I do not intend to have anything more than you are willing to give, and despite what I want, I am a man of my word.” Though the words were meant to be placating, the drawling darkness of his tone had me leaning forward with the words I knew he wanted me to ask already on the tip of my tongue.

“And what do you want?”

For an instant his eyes flashed a dark amber, and the look of ravenous, all consuming, selfish want I saw there had a shiver racing through me. In that moment it became all too clear that I was not the butterfly flying too close to the spider’s web; I had already been caught, and now I was staring into the eyes of the spider.

“Everything you have to give. I want our dinners together not to be bound by the pretenses of work, or a “friendly meal,” I want them to be because we want to spend every moment together. I want your laughter to ring out and not be hidden behind your hand, as if it were some sin for others to know I made it so.” His eyes held mine as he leaned forward, his tone dropping to a graveled growl.

“What I want, Rin, is to whisper in your ear and watch that blush spread across your cheek and know it was because of my words and mine alone. I want to trace every inch of your body with my fingers and know that every gasp you make is because of _me_. I want to spend every waking hour learning everything that makes you lose your breath, and know that when you scream it will be _my_ _name_ alone that spills from those lips.”

I was left flushed and reeling as his amber gaze held mine, igniting my body and nearly eliciting a moan from his look alone. He left me struggling for both breath and word and disappointingly unable to get a proper grasp on either. Silence hung heavily between us, and I was sure that were it not for the appearance of our server with the bill I would have given into every wanton desire I had buried away for this man and accepted his words desperately and completely.

But the din around us, the presence of our server asking if the food was enjoyable, the sight of the happy couple holding hands across the room- it all rushed upon me with the force of an icy river, snapping me out of the hypnotic lull his voice had dragged me to and reminding me that there was a world outside of this moment, that actions had consequences and that I could not bear the responsibility of them.

“Mr. Taisho,” I offered a weak smile, although I really wasn’t sure which of us I was trying to console. “I can’t.”

He leaned back and nodded slightly, the corners of his mouth pulling into a grim reciprocation of my smile. “I know.”

* * *

  
For the first time in months, awkwardness hung between us like a dense fog. The ride to my apartment was an unsettling, quiet affair, and before I realized it, we were parked in front of my building. Ever the gentleman, Sesshomaru got out to open my door.

He made to release my hand once I was upright, but I held firm, staring, transfixed at his large hand wrapped around mine. In that moment, I knew there were two paths laid out before me, and no matter which I chose, our relationship would be irrevocably changed for better or worse. This moment would be when I hold on to him, and allow myself to be pulled wholly into the depths of the lust that swelled around us. Or this moment would be when I let go of his hand, his warm, calloused and perfectly familiar hand, and go home, turning my back on him and closing the door on this iniquitous thing that had built between us. The choice was entirely mine, and it was an unbelievably easy one to make.

“Would you like some tea?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek, such a huge delay for such a short chapter! My apologies! Especially since this thing has been written for months now, life just gets in the way of editing. Anywho, last chapter will be up next week. Let me know what you guys thought about this one!


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the delay! I really thought I could have this whole story up in three weeks, but then life happened. Anyway, I hope this, the final chapter, makes up for the super lengthy delay. Enjoy!

**My Story**

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

If I weren’t so nervous, I probably would have found it comical to see Sesshomaru Taisho standing in my brightly colored living room trying to figure out if he would prefer to sit in the sunflower yellow arm chair, or my robin’s egg blue couch. I left him to figure it out and went to fetch us drinks. When I returned, I found him comfortably situated on the yellow chair and mentally filed away the image to laugh at later.

 

He arched a curious brow when I handed him the glass of scotch.

 

“I can actually get you a cup of tea if you’d prefer.” I answered as I settled onto the blue couch. He hummed, quirked a brow and brought the glass to his lips in response.

 

The silence hung heavily over us as we sipped our drinks. I shifted nervously, and began to tap the rim of my glass as I searched for something to say; a moment later, he solved that problem for me.

 

“Why am I here, Rin?”

 

“I-“ I hesitated, seeking a way to formulate the disjointed thoughts that had led me to believe this was a good idea. “I don’t know.” I answered finally.

 

Sesshomaru hummed and took a sip of his drink before he pushed himself out of the seat. For one panicked moment, I thought he was going to leave, but instead he made his way towards me and sat on the corner of the low wooden coffee table at the center of my living room, so close our knees brushed against one another’s.

 

“Tell me, Rin,” his voice and his nearness sent a shiver racing up my spine, “how many men have you been with?”

 

My discomfort seemed to amuse him, so I answered hastily. “Just Kohaku.”

 

He hummed once more and by this point I was sure he was doing it just to annoy me. “And how many times has he made you orgasm?”

 

I really should not have been so caught off guard by the question- Sesshomaru had always been the type to come at topics most people would find difficult to broach completely head on, nevertheless, my jaw dropped and I was sure I had taken on a shade of red reserved only for tomatoes. The sputtered, incoherent noises I made must have been answer enough because with a small nod and a murmured “I see,” he stood up, gesturing for me to follow.

 

“Undress.”

 

I stared owlishly at his impassive face. His golden eyes regarded me with such a common look of nonchalance that I was sure I had imagined the word coming from him. “What?”

 

His arched eyebrow was as good as any “you heard me,” I’d ever received.   

 

He stepped forward, closing the little bit of space between us and forcing me to crane my neck to see his face. “Why did you ask me here, Rin?” His warm hands came to rest on my shoulders, his thumbs gently stroking the flesh there as his eyes bore into mine with a heated intensity that had my stomach clenching and my blood boiling. “As I’ve said, I will take no more than you are willing to give. But you need to decide, little one, _what are you willing to give_?”

 

I knew that this was where I should have tucked tail and ran. In fact, a part of me wanted to, but a much larger, braver part of me that I never knew existed before meeting him, was clawing to surface, pushing aside the doubtful, righteous voice that begged me to end this now. And I did nothing to resist it.

 

My hands trembled as they came up to the straps that held my dress. Sesshomaru took a step back, retracting his warm hands from my shoulders, leaving me instantly chilled.

 

I should have been embarrassed, I should have been scared, hell, I should have been alone in my apartment right now, but, as I slipped the light material from my shoulders and the dress fluttered to a pool at my feet, all I could feel was excitement.

 

“I said, undress.” His voice was low but firm and his eyes remained locked on mine.

 

I nodded wordlessly and hooked my fingers into the bit of lace around my hips, with a steadying breath, I slid it down to join the dress on the floor.

 

I was completely bare to him now, and still his eyes didn’t stray from mine.

 

“Now, Rin,” his voice took on a more graveled tone and I knew, despite his unchanging features, he was struggling to remain impassive. “I need you to tell me why I am here.”

 

This time, I didn’t hesitate. “Because I want you to be here.” My eyes met his as I uttered this simple truth, and I was sure the hunger I saw in him was mirrored in my own gaze.

 

His hands came back to gently rest on my shoulders. The warm passes of his thumb had a shiver coursing my spine and my nipples pebbling. “And what are you willing to give?”

 

“Everything.” The whispered word had barely slipped past my lips before his mouth was on mine and my body was falling into his with unashamed need.

 

The soft fabric of his clothes brushed my rapidly heating flesh as his lips laid siege to mine. A guttural moan pulled itself past my lips and he wasted no time in using the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth.

 

My legs slipped from beneath me, and for a fleeting moment I thought my knees had given before I noticed he pressure of his hands on my hips, lifting me. My legs wrapped around him instinctively, all the while my mouth feasted on his with a passion I didn’t know I possessed.

 

Somewhere, between our frantic kisses, he muttered something about my bedroom and with his lips pressing open-mouthed kisses on my neck I was only distantly aware of briefly disentangling my fingers from his hair to point down the hall.

 

His teeth and tongue joined the assault on my neck and thought left me.

 

All too soon, my back was against the cool comforter of my bed and Sesshomaru was pulling away. I released a low whine as his lips left my flesh and found myself pouting at the lack of contact.

 

I had barely caught my breath before he was back, this time the bare heated flesh of his chest pressed against mine, sending fissures of pleasure through me. His lips ghosted across my skin, murmuring awed words about my beauty before his tongue began blazing trails down my neck to my chest. His calloused hands gripped my thighs, sliding up my hips to my sides, leaving me quivering and moaning beneath him.

 

When his lips closed around a pebbled nipple I threw my head back, moaning my appreciation for all the world to hear. His hands continued to trace my body while his tongue, teeth and lips circled, pulled and caressed the skin of my breasts.

 

It felt like I was free-falling, tumbling off some precipice into some sort of exhilarating unknown. My thoughts were a disjointed haze of indulgent delight. My hands ran across every inch of his skin I could reach and soon my fingers hand undone his belt and pushed away his pants and boxers.

 

We became a tangle of limbs- his hands pressed my legs apart and his searching fingers found the moist heat of my core, circling the bundle of nerves there and teasingly sliding along my entrance. I pulled his lips back to mine, moaning my pleasure into his mouth.

 

Soon he was kissing his way down the planes of my stomach to join his fingers. When the warmth of his mouth closed around my clit and his fingers slid into my moist core, I sucked in a gasping breath, my hands fisting into the sheets around me as I fought to bite back a scream.

 

His fingers pumped a steady rhythm, and his tongue, oh God, his tongue! My back arched and my fingers wove themselves into his hair as I shamelessly thrust my hips towards his eager mouth.

 

Again and again, he drove me towards the edge of completion, then slowed his pace, lessening the strokes of his tongue to almost feather light passes, pulling me back.

 

It wasn’t long before I was tugging him up, pulling his mouth to mine in a ravenous kiss- my tongue sweeping past his lips to taste myself on him.

 

His fingers remained within me, pumping in and out torturously, curling up to press the spongy spot that had my back arching.

 

“Please,” my voice was a breathless whine between gasps as his thumb moved to circle my sensitive clit.

 

He smirked at me, moving his fingers almost languorously in and out of my clenching core. “Please what, Rin? Tell me what you want.”

 

At any other time I would’ve fired back some witty rebuke, but the feel of his body against mine and his hand doing absolutely sinful things between my legs had long since made me lose the ability to be witty. “I want you to fuck me.”  

 

His smirk widened, and his lips captured mine in a desperate kiss. “As you wish.”

 

He pulled away from me and settled on his knees between my legs. He removed his fingers, wet and glistening in the low light, and rubbed the moisture over his thick member. In spite of everything that had just transpired between us, I couldn’t stop myself from blushing scarlet and averting my eyes from the scene.

 

“Rin,” his commanding baritone brought my gaze back to his half-lidded one. “Look at me.”  

 

And I did. I took him all in -his tousled silvery hair, his deep amber eyes that were hazy with want, his bruised lips, smudged red from my lipstick, the love bites that trailed down his neck to the top of his sculpted chest, his sturdy arms, his muscular thighs, and his large hands that stroked the evidence of my desire onto his cock.

 

He was glorious. And he wanted me. And more than anything, I wanted him too.

 

He positioned himself at my entrance, sliding the head of his cock up and down my slit teasingly- drawing a whimpered moan from me- before he pushed in, agonizingly slowly.

 

The feel of him was beyond words, and when he finally thrust in to the hilt, I couldn’t stop the gasp that left me. He dropped to his forearms, his face resting in the junction of my neck and groaned, “Fuck, Rin.”

 

The next roll of his hips had us both moaning. The one after that had me raising my hips to meet his movement. He peppered kisses across my chest and face, and my hands stroked the soft skin of his back. We took our time at first, settling into a steady rhythm as we both got accustomed to the newness of these feelings.

 

But, it wasn’t long before I was urging him faster, a request he had was all too happy to grant; soon he was thrusting with abandon as I clawed and grasped any of his flesh available to me. He settled back onto his knees, his large hands gripping my hips to spread my legs wide, tilting my pelvis, allowing his cock deeper and deeper with every thrust.

 

His name became a mantra, spilling from my lips with a reverence normally reserved for the sanctified. We had gone beyond any sort of control or restraint. Our bodies slammed against one another for the sole purpose of completion. The grunts and moans that filled the room, accented by the lewd slapping of flesh only added to the excitement that filled me, driving me higher to that peak that promised some sort of momentary absolution.

 

He turned me, spinning me onto my hands and knees before pulling me up, splaying my legs astride his as I️ sat on his muscled thighs. One hand snaked across my front, rolling a nipple between his fingers before continuing up to wrap around my neck, pulling me to press my back flush against his chest; while his other hand found its way between my legs, his thumb stroking the bundle of nerves there as his cock continued to slide into me.

 

I bounced and ground myself onto him, gasping and panting as I was pushed steadily closer to my orgasm. My hands reached back and buried themselves in his hair, holding onto him as if he were a lifeline. In the back of my mind I knew I should have felt some sort of shame for the wanton moans and pleasured cries that filled the room, but I just couldn’t. All I knew was him and the feeling of him and right now, nothing else mattered beyond that.

 

His teeth grazed the skin of my ear and I moaned loudly, almost drowning out the graveled words he whispered to me. “Come for me, Rin.” His teeth nipped my neck, his cock pounded into me, his fingers teased my clit, and I was _so_ close. “Come for me,” his voice was almost a growl now, causing me to whimper with want. “Come for me and scream my name, Rin. Scream it so that everyone knows who made you feel this way.”

 

His hand left my neck and he roughly pushed me forward onto my hands and knees, picking up his pace to a toe-curling frenzy. His hips slammed into the skin of my ass unforgivingly, going deeper, faster, harder. My moans turned to fevered cries, my hands fisted in the sheets as he pushes me closer, and closer to the edge of oblivion.

 

“Come for me, Rin!”

 

And I did, screaming his name for all of heaven and earth to hear.

 

I was too far gone to even acknowledge his own groan of orgasm until he was laying beside me, pulling me into the heat of his body.

 

* * *

 

 

We lay silently for a few minutes, sweaty and breathless, wrapped up in each other. But, all too soon the horror of what I had done settled over me. Panic began to pull at me, twisting my stomach into an angry ball of anxiety.

 

“Rin,” I jumped at the sound of Sesshomaru’s voice in my ear, “relax.” His arm curled more firmly around my middle, pulling me even closer to him.

 

“But-“

 

“I know.” He soothed, as always, already aware where my thoughts were taking me. “But these problems can wait for tomorrow.”

 

I rolled over and looked at him, a small frown pulling at my lips. “We shouldn’t have done this.”

 

He sighed. “No, we shouldn’t have; you are engaged, and I am your boss.” His matter of fact words were offset by the gentle hand that caressed the side of my face and the soft tone in which he spoke, “a lot of things that have happened between us shouldn’t have happened. But I have no regrets that they did. Do you?”

 

“Much fewer than I should.” I murmured

 

His lips met mine in a chaste kiss and afterwards, he rested his forehead against mine in a move that was so uncharacteristically gentle for him that I couldn’t help but smile. “So, what now?” I whispered.

 

“Now, we sleep. And tomorrow, I will make you breakfast- unsurprisingly my culinary skills are top notch- then we change these sheets,” I giggled at the way he scrunched up his nose, “ _and then_ , we will talk about this.”

 

I wanted to protest, but his hand had begun to caress my back, and the warmth of his body was so comforting that I could find little strength to do more than nod along. “Tomorrow, then.” I murmured, my eyelids already sliding shut.

 

“Tomorrow, Rin.”

 

* * *

 

 

My name is Rin Higurashi, and I don’t know how I let this happen.

 

I am a 27-year-old architect, engaged to a man who is, by all means, perfect, and through my own stupidity or foolhardiness, I fell for someone else.

 

I stand at an impasse now, one I never in my wildest dreams believed I would ever travel to. I know what I have to do, I am not a child and I understand that all actions have consequences, that promises should never be broken, and that trust is something you should never throw away.

 

I love Kohaku, I love his kind smile and gentle soul, I love his sense of humor and I will always love our memories together, but -whether I admitted it to myself or not- I wanted more.

 

And then I met _him_ \- Sesshomaru. And, with him, I knew what it was like to have _more_. He man made me feel wanted, he made me feel sexy, he made me laugh, he consoled me, he cared for me and I desired him in a way I had never wanted anyone else, and overtime that desire grew into something else. Something that went beyond our banter and flirting, a bone-deep need for him that superseded all else. What I grew to feel for him was not just some sort of craven desire, it was something I still haven’t been able to put a name to, something that pulled me to him and laid siege to my thoughts until I finally gave in.

 

I don’t know where to go from here, with one act I’ve burned so many bridges and irreparably hurt someone I truly do love. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if there is any penance I can perform to rid myself of the guilt I now feel, but I wanted to offer this as a beginning- my account of my ultimate betrayal.

 

This isn’t meant to be self-absolving. It isn’t a cautionary tale or one about finding true love, nor is it a star-crossed romance. There isn’t anything nearly so deep about it; I just think that we all have stories that we sometimes need to tell, and for me this is just that- my story.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read this work, left comments or kudos. Until next time!


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